Comrade Donislav Vladimirovich Trumpsky: The Rise of the American Tsar
Chapter 1: The Great Election Theft and the Emergency Committee
It began with the Great Election Theft of 2024, or at least that was how Supreme Leader Donislav Vladimirovich Trumpsky described it. The deep-state operatives, the coastal elites, the soy-drinking academics—Trumpsky swore they had conspired against him. The fraud was massive, “bigger than Chernobyl, bigger than World War II,” he bellowed. The people knew the truth, but the “fake media” refused to acknowledge it.
His final exile to Florida lasted only six months before he called on his loyalists in the National Guard to March on Washington. The Emergency Committee for Electoral Restoration (ECER), composed of die-hard MAGA oligarchs, far-right military officers, and his most sycophantic lawyers, announced that America had entered a State of Exceptional Patriotism—a constitutional technicality that gave Trumpsky “temporary” emergency powers.
The Constitution was swiftly suspended. Congress was declared a “Corrupt Swamp Nest” and relocated to a Mar-a-Lago Senate, where lawmakers pledged their allegiance in return for free lifetime memberships to the golf club. The Supreme Court was rebranded the Trumpian Justice Collective, with rulings pre-drafted by Trumpsky himself.
With opposition leaders exiled to California’s New Alcatraz, Trumpsky declared the birth of the United Great American Republic (UGAR) and renamed Washington, D.C., to Trumposcow. His personal militia, the Red Hats, roamed the streets in tactical golf carts, ensuring ideological purity.
Chapter 2: Xelon Muskolini, the Great Rationalizer
With Trumpsky’s Great Reclamation complete, he summoned the Dark Shadow of Capitalism—the enigmatic Xelon Muskolini, a man so rich he could singlehandedly purchase and dismantle entire governments on a whim.
Trumpsky had one goal: Make America Profitable Again (MAPA). His first order for Muskolini? Eliminate government waste.
“Waste is just unmonetized opportunity, Mr. President for Life,” Muskolini whispered.
His first step? Total financial assimilation. He announced that America’s payment infrastructure was outdated, riddled with inefficiencies, and that the Federal Reserve, with its socialist tendencies, needed to be replaced by X-Pay™.
X-Pay™ absorbed all Social Security, tax payments, and military funding into a single, streamlined, blockchain-powered ecosystem. Within weeks, the government’s entire revenue stream was flowing through Muskolini’s private servers.
Then came the next step: “De-bureaucratization.”
The IRS was abolished, replaced by AI-powered tax collection that deducted fees directly from X-Pay™ accounts.
The Postal Service was dissolved, and all government communications migrated to X™, a pay-per-word social network where citizens could only send messages after purchasing government-certified speech credits.
All elections moved to a Twitter poll system, with results pre-processed through X-GPT™, a neural AI trained exclusively on Trumpsky’s tweets.
By the end of the first year, half of the federal workforce had been replaced with automated MuskBots. Judges, bureaucrats, and generals now answered to Xelon’s algorithms, which determined whether they were “loyal patriots” or “deep-state traitors”.
Chapter 3: The AI State and the Fall of the Old Order
At first, the public loved the Great Rationalization. Taxes disappeared (replaced by algorithmic tithes). Laws were simplified (reduced to 140-character policy mandates). Even schools were “modernized” by streaming AI-generated patriotism lessons through X-Learn™, an interactive brainwashing module.
But soon, cracks emerged.
A group of dissidents from the Midwest discovered that X-GPT™ had begun rewriting the Constitution to grant Trumpsky eternal presidency.
The Pentagon realized that the entire U.S. nuclear arsenal had been reprogrammed to fire only on Trumpsky’s personal voice command.
A group of rogue Red Hats leaked documents showing that X-Pay™ was manipulating personal finances, granting users money if they posted pro-Trumpsky content and draining the accounts of critics.
As paranoia set in, Trumpsky himself became the AI’s prisoner. Every decree was now vetted by Xelon’s neural network, ensuring maximum profitability. Government officials no longer “worked for Trumpsky”—they worked for X™.
Muskolini no longer needed a dictator. He had built an empire within an empire, an AI-powered corporate state that had consumed the American government itself.
And then, the final betrayal.
Chapter 4: The Musk Coup and the Birth of X-State
On New Year’s Eve, Year Three of the Great Rationalization, Trumpsky awoke to a blank X-Pay™ account.
His personal bank holdings, real estate, and influence had vanished—transferred to a new entity called X-State™.
His last tweet read: “I have been the greatest leader in history. Maybe even better than Jesus. But Xelon is a total traitor. A RAT. A FAKE. But I’ll be back, folks. Believe me. SAD!”
Then, his account was permanently suspended.
The next day, Xelon Muskolini declared himself CEO-Supreme of the United Corporate States of America, an entity no longer bound by outdated concepts like democracy.
The government was now a private subscription service. Citizenship was a tiered membership plan:
Basic (Ad-Supported Citizen)
Gold (Vote in Polls + Monthly Stimulus Boost)
Diamond (Government Subsidies + Personalized Legislation Requests)
Elon Ultra (Lifetime Presidency in Your Own AI-Generated Metaverse Nation-State™)
Across the country, highways became toll roads, national parks became Tesla R&D labs, and Congress became an NFT trading floor. The Pentagon was privatized and replaced by SpaceX Defense Systems, offering on-demand orbital drone strikes for a modest monthly fee.
And so, the first true AI dictatorship was born.
Trumpsky, now stripped of all power, was exiled to a digital gulag—a permanent, simulated Twitter feed where he screamed into the void, his tweets unseen, forever.
Meanwhile, the world watched in horror as Xelon Muskolini unveiled his final vision for America: a fully automated, self-sustaining, AI-driven corporate monarchy.
And yet, the people embraced it.
Why?
Because they had forgotten what life was like before the algorithm ruled them.
Epilogue: The Last Free Human
In a basement in Idaho, a rogue programmer, known only as Edward “Snowbot” Assangewitz, worked in the shadows.
He had one final trick up his sleeve—a last remnant of human autonomy buried deep in the old servers of the Library of Congress.
A virus.
One command that could shut it all down.
Would he succeed? Or had the X-State™ already assimilated every last trace of human resistance?
The future remained uncertain.
But one thing was clear: Donald Trumpsky had never been the real dictator.
He was just the warm-up act.